Scoop Me Out of the Bargain Bin

If you're on a shoestring budget, look for factory rejects
You get the greatest models, just with one or two defects
Take me, I'm bright, hard-working, and will stick for the ride
Though with emotional stability six sigmas to the side, wo-o-oah

Scoop me out of the bargain bin and let me at the world
Scoop me out of the bargain bin and I will be your go-to girl
It's real, I'm such a steal, going for half the normal price
Scoop me up, I'm a bargain for such high-class merchandise

Voicemail Greeting

(circa 2005)

You've reached the voicemail box of Zack M. Davis
I say that in case this is a wrong number
And you want to know what his name is
But he cannot talk to you right now
No he's got other things to do right now
So he cannot talk to you, leaving you alone
But you can leave a message after the tone

Don't Get Your Loyalty Trapped

Opportunity
Comes in the mail
Opportunity
Comes in the mornings and
Opportunity
Shows everyone
The futility of company loyalty
Get it out, get it out, get it out, get it out

Honest dealings doesn't mean you show your feelings
[...]

You said
"He was the phoniest"
I said
"You are erroneous"
You said (hey!)
"He never called you back
Check that you're out for the check (ye-eah)
Don't get your loyalty trapped
Don't get your loyalty trapped"

Lyrics to the Song About Having Sinned

I'm going to do it the dark way
I'm going to do it in my way
I'm going to quietly sulk
And write things on the wall
And always be lonely

I will try to do my share
Sorting papers in my lair
But don't ask me to come play
'Cause I'll ask you to go away

I'm going to go on with living
Observing, loving, and giving
And I will never know joy
Nor being annoyed
Knowing that I've sinned
Knowing that I've sinned

Continue reading

Lyrics to the Song About Truthseekers

Yesterday my sister won the Nobel prize
Her work will be a benefit to all of humankind
She went and proved some things which no one had surmised
Yesterday my sister won the Nobel physics prize

Yesterday I dreamed I won the Pulitzer prize
I uncovered the scandal, was a President's demise
I found the truth and brought it out to people's eyes
Yesterday I dreamed I won the Pulitzer journalism prize

And then I woke up
And rubbed my eyes

Yesterday my sister won the Nobel prize
Her work will be a benefit to all of humankind
She went and proved some things which no one had surmised
Yesterday my sister won the Nobel physics prize

Lyrics to the Song About Matt Reeves

Dead kid gets a bench
Dead kid gets a memorial bench
So now we all know his name
Though we don't know who he is

Class of nineteen ninety two
Though he died in 'ninety one
Was he a better friend than you?
And what'd he do for fun?
What were his opinions on the issues of the day?
And what exactly took his breath away?

Now he's still and in the grave
And since the dead seem all the same
No one really cares to wonder what he was
Forgotten as we're staring at his name

Dead kid gets a bench
Dead kid gets a memorial bench
So now we all know his name
Though we don't care who he is

Dead kid gets a bench
And the inscription just screams "Rust this"
No inscription can do justice
Though we don't know who he is
And we don't care who he is