"Avinu Malkeinu, we have sinned against you! Avinu Malkeinu, forgive us, bless us, grant us atonement!"
"Why do you bother? You're not a child. You've studied the history of our world. You should know that there's no one to grant you atonement."
"You don't know that! Science doesn't know everything. You can't prove that there's no Higher Power."
"As you say. But if there is a Higher Power, It clearly hasn't concerned Itself with the operation of the moral law."
"In this world."
"Yes, in this world. But surely it is this world that we must concerned with, for if there is a next world, we are too ignorant to speak of it."
"That is why it is also a teaching of my people that this is also a time for us to forgive each other for the wrongs we have committed in the past year, as well as seeking reconciliation with haShem."
"And you anticipate the same thing being necessary next year?"
"I don't understand. How could it not be necessary?"
God, I should have *known* you were Jewish! Priors. Priors.
I think this sort of thing winds up adding up to normality in the end. First I prayed in earnest. Too much kavanah for my own good. Then I couldn't take it, because there is no god, so it was rough on me in a different way. Then I found steelman interpretations that are clean, which means that I can freely ignore the aspects of religion that aren't (which are the majority), and so still be in truth about as Jewish as I feel. Which is a good place to land, I think. A starting point, at least, to begin doing the real work.
It's because no matter how hard you try, you will err. It's a recognition of being human. A person can improve, however, and fail to repeat past sins. They will fail again, but on a higher level.