An Algorithmic Lucidity

MINUETTE: So, uh, what are you studying these days?
MOON DANCER: Science, magic, history, economics, pottery. Things like that.
MINUETTE: Yowza! You planning on being a professor or something?
MOON DANCER: No.
MINUETTE: So you're just ... studying!
MOON DANCER: Can I go now?

—My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, "Amending Fences"

However, this corresponds to a general pattern of causal relationships: observations on a common consequence of two independent causes tend to render those causes dependent, because information about one of the causes tends to make the other more or less likely, given that the consequence has occurred. This pattern is known as selection bias or Berkson's paradox in the statistical literature (Berkson 1946) and as the explaining away effect in artificial intelligence (Kim and Pearl 1983). For example, if the admission criteria to a certain graduate school call for either high grades as an undergraduate or special musical talents, then these two attributes will be found to be correlated (negatively) in the student population of that school, even if these attributes are uncorrelated in the population at large. Indeed, students with low grades are likely to be exceptionally gifted in music, which explains their admission to the graduate school.

—Judea Pearl, Causality

"It would be nice if implementation languages provided extensible string-indexable arrays as a built in type constructor, but with the exception of awk, Perl, and a few others, they don't. There are several ways to implement such a mechanism.

—Modern Compiler Design by Dick Grune, Henri E. Bal, Ceriel J. H. Jacobs, and Koen G. Langendoen (2000)

If, even as the price to be paid for a fifth vote, I ever joined an opinion for the Court that began: "The Constitution promises liberty to all within its reach, a liberty that includes certain specific rights that allow persons, within a lawful realm, to define and express their identity," I would hide my head in a bag. The Supreme Court of the United States has descended from the disciplined legal reasoning of John Marshall and Joseph Story to the mystical aphorisms of the fortune cookie.

—Antoin Scalia; Obergefell v. Hodges dissent, footnote 22

PEARL: Oh, Steven. Humans just lead short, boring, insignificant lives, so they make up stories to feel like they're a part of something bigger. They want to blame all the world's problems on some single enemy they can fight, instead of a complex network of interrelated forces beyond anyone's control.

AMETHYST: It's sad. And funny.

PEARL: Don't feel bad about it, okay?

—Steven Universe, "Keep Beach City Weird"

Education is a weapon whose effects depend on who holds it in his hands and at whom it is aimed.

—Joseph Stalin

MISTY: You know, I usually burn incense when I meditate, but the smell of a burning city can be just as relaxing.
JENNY: People are in danger! Why don't you do something?!
MISTY: They stiffed me.
JENNY: What?
MISTY: Your town. Tremorton. They wouldn't cough up the cash for services rendered.
JENNY: I have no idea what you're talking about.
MISTY: I'm a hero for hire. I save people for money. You knew that.
JENNY: And if they don't pay up, you just let them get pummeled?
MISTY: Pretty much. I have to eat, don't I?
(JENNY flies away, disgusted)
MISTY: I'm not living with my mom, like some people!

—My Life as a Teenage Robot, "Mist Opportunities"

A second way of interpreting the effort level \(e^{MIN}\) is to consider that the principal and the agent do not have completely conflicting objectives. It is possible that the agent gets some utility from his work, but only up to a certain effort level. We assume that the level that the agent is willing to spontaneously offer is \(e^{MIN}\). The agency problem turns up in this case since the principal would like the agent to offer an effort greater than his spontaneous level.

—Inés Macho-Stadler and J. Davis Pérez-Castrillo, An Introduction to the Economics of Information

The judge currently accepts programs written in C, C++, Pascal, and Java, so your favorite language is probably available.

—Steven S. Skiena and Miguel A. Revilla, Programming Challenges: The Programming Contest Training Manual

I'm a slave to my spells
And yes it's true, well
I don't have as many friends as you
But I think you're nice and maybe we could be friends
And if you say no, you're toast

—"Ashley's Song", Super Smash Bros. Brawl

First world problems
They cause frustration
Forget starvation
In nations abroad
We've got plenty
That bug so many
I doubt that anyone's happy

—"First World Problems", AVbyte

He is teasing me. Joviality is one of Max's preferred diffusion tactics. Taking on a deliberately inflated voice when directly addressing our differences is designed to produce an effect whereby we might wink at one another: We are both metacognizant, we both know the clichés about the other side. It isn't entirely ineffective.

—Emmett Rensin

I am convinced, from many experiments, I could not study, to any degree of perfection, either mathematics, arithmetic, or algebra, without being a Deist, if not an Atheist.

—John Wesley

Selfishness and altruism are positively correlated within individuals, for the obvious reason.

—@InstanceOfClass

There is only one book: the world book. And all books are volumes of this one book. And all pages are pages of this world book. [...] You’re already skimming. You're already skipping over. You’re already not reading all the pages of the book.

—Khatzumoto, "All Reading Is Skimming"

The moral is that it is probably better not to sin at all, but if some kind of sin you must be pursuing,

—"Portrait of the Artist as a Prematurely Old Man" by Odgen Nash

Science may not fucking love you back.

—Rachel Haywire

And that after this is accomplished, and the brave new world begins

—"The Gods of the Copybook Headings" by Rudyard Kipling

Just keep telling yourself: if they haven't started questioning what society tells them yet, then maybe they are not the one for you.

—"Pick-up Lines for Feminists" by Lesley Kartali

So, so what
I'm still a rock star
I got my rock moves
And I don't need you
And guess what
I'm having more fun
And now that we're done
I'm gonna show you tonight
I'm alright
I'm just fine

—"So What" by Pink

The cheaper people are to model, the larger the groups that can be modeled well enough to cooperate with them.

—Michael Vassar

"As far as anyone knows, there's never been an animal population that was stable in the absence of predation, famine, or disease."

"Don't get discouraged," Carla said, reaching over and putting a hand on his shoulder. "That's just the history of life for the past few eons. It's not as if it's a law of physics."

—The Eternal Flame by Greg Egan

Cherryl did not answer, then said suddenly, desperately, "Look ... what I don't want is charity."

"Jim must have told you—and it's true—that I never engage in charity."

"Yes, he did ... But what I mean is—"

"I know what you mean."

"But there's no reason why you should have to feel concern for me ... I didn't come here to complain and ... and load another burden on your shoulders. ... That I happen to suffer, doesn't give me a claim on you."

"No, it doesn't. But that you value all the things I value, does."

"You mean ... if you want to talk to me, it's not alms? Not just because you feel sorry for me?"

"I feel terribly sorry for you, Cherryl, and I'd like to help you—not because you suffer, but because you haven't deserved to suffer."

"You mean, you wouldn't be kind to anything weak or whining or rotten aobut me? Only to whatever you see in me that's good?"

"Of course."

—Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand

The wizard gets the delight of working in a specialized area—magic—and gets a good look at the foundations of the Universe, the way things really work. It should be stated that there are people who consider the latter more of a curse than a blessing.

—So You Want to Be a Wizard by Diane Duane

But I don't need to know the answer. I just recite to myself, over and over, until I can choose sleep:

It all adds up to normality.

—Quarantine by Greg Egan