{"id":936,"date":"2013-04-01T13:57:25","date_gmt":"2013-04-01T20:57:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/zackmdavis.net\/blog\/?p=936"},"modified":"2013-04-01T13:57:25","modified_gmt":"2013-04-01T20:57:25","slug":"prodrome","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/zackmdavis.net\/blog\/2013\/04\/prodrome\/","title":{"rendered":"Prodrome"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&quot;I'm okay\u2014I've been through this\u2014it's just the sort of prodrome that <em>could<\/em> develop into paranoid schizophrenia, but <em>won't<\/em>, because <em>I've been trained not to believe my own thoughts!<\/em><\/p>\n<p>&quot;But the relationship between psychology and philosophy is funny. I've been having pretty drastic mood swings on the timescale of hours or minutes, and I've also been paying a lot of attention to modal realism, mathematical universe, &quot;existence as an ensemble of disconnected observer-moments&quot;-type ideas. I think the causality actually goes in that direction: from psychoticism to Tegmark IV. But <em>the nature of reality<\/em> can't <em>actually<\/em> depend on the minutia of my particular form of mental illness ...<\/p>\n<p>&quot;I don't want to do philosophy or social science or futurism anymore; I've lost the ability to do it sanely, if I ever had it. My brain just keeps generating cosmic horror stories to be terrified of, when really it's not my business and <em>can't<\/em> be my business. Most of what happens in the future is outside of my current conceptspace. Most of what happens in the <em>present<\/em> is outside of my current conceptspace. It all adds up to normality <em>locally<\/em>: that is, that which we consider normal is an artifact of how the world has unfolded up to now.<\/p>\n<p>&quot;Better to take up an engineering mindset. Focus on solving practical problems in the only world that I can actually touch, rather than continuing to execute self-injury behaviors dwelling on the horror that must exist in the vastness of space and time.<\/p>\n<p>&quot;I'll be fine\u2014for the <em>near<\/em> future. Only I miss how consciousness used to feel. I used to feel like I knew things, but now all I can do is make predictions.&quot;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&quot;I'm okay\u2014I've been through this\u2014it's just the sort of prodrome that could develop into paranoid schizophrenia, but won't, because I've been trained not to believe my own thoughts! &quot;But the relationship between psychology and philosophy is funny. I've been having &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/zackmdavis.net\/blog\/2013\/04\/prodrome\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[58],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/zackmdavis.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/936"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/zackmdavis.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/zackmdavis.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/zackmdavis.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/zackmdavis.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=936"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/zackmdavis.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/936\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":940,"href":"http:\/\/zackmdavis.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/936\/revisions\/940"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/zackmdavis.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=936"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/zackmdavis.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=936"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/zackmdavis.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=936"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}