{"id":501,"date":"2012-10-08T05:00:27","date_gmt":"2012-10-08T12:00:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/zackmdavis.net\/blog\/?p=501"},"modified":"2012-12-14T20:07:05","modified_gmt":"2012-12-15T04:07:05","slug":"dont-resent-that-no-one-cares","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/zackmdavis.net\/blog\/2012\/10\/dont-resent-that-no-one-cares\/","title":{"rendered":"Don't Resent That No One Cares"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>It's tempting to be resentful that other people don't value your time the way you do. You complain at every opportunity: \"Why, why, <em>why<\/em> do I get socially rewarded for working on this-and-such random chore that doesn't even <em>help<\/em> anyone, when <em>obviously<\/em> my great masterpiece (in progress, <em>in potentia<\/em>, coming soon) on such-and-this is so much more valuable?!\"<\/p>\n<p>But I think it's better not to be resentful and not to complain, mostly because it doesn't work. Other people <em>don't<\/em> care about your great masterpiece on such-and-this. They really don't. Maybe someone, somewhere will care after it's done, but it's not reasonable to expect anyone's support <em>in advance<\/em>\u2014or, alternatively and isomorphically, it <em>is<\/em> reasonable, but given that there's nothing you can do to force people to be reasonable, <em>reasonableness<\/em> is not the correct criterion to be paying attention to.<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p>You can't help being economically dependent on other people, but it seems like it ought to be possible to lessen your <em>emotional<\/em> dependence: to treat praise and criticism as <em>evidence<\/em> about the effectiveness of your actions, but not as a controlling force, not as a verdict. This is likely to be desirable not only because if you have fewer needs, then there are fewer ways in which you can be hurt, but also because it is <em>necessary<\/em> in order to accomplish anything at all: if you're dependent on other people's approval, how will you ever summon the energy needed to finish the masterpiece that no one (yet) cares about but you?<\/p>\n<p>If it helps\u2014consider that if everyone else <em>already<\/em> valued everything you value, then your existence would be superfluous. Maybe it would be <em>better<\/em> to be superfluous, <em>better<\/em> if the world were already perfect without there being anything left for you to contribute\u2014but there's no profit in considering such a remote counterfactual. Take a deep breath, try not to let the subsequent exhalation sound like a mournful sigh, and get back to work, or whatever it is you do.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>It's tempting to be resentful that other people don't value your time the way you do. You complain at every opportunity: \"Why, why, why do I get socially rewarded for working on this-and-such random chore that doesn't even help anyone, &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/zackmdavis.net\/blog\/2012\/10\/dont-resent-that-no-one-cares\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[30],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/zackmdavis.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/501"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/zackmdavis.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/zackmdavis.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/zackmdavis.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/zackmdavis.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=501"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/zackmdavis.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/501\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":748,"href":"http:\/\/zackmdavis.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/501\/revisions\/748"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/zackmdavis.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=501"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/zackmdavis.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=501"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/zackmdavis.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=501"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}